Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
