remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
