remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
