the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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