shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
