Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize