Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
