Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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