Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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