When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
