im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
