apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
