hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
