How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
