belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
