it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize