Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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