Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
