we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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