her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm lost and stupid without you.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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