It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
