Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize