That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
