i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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