dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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