I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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