but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
