in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my shit smells like andre
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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