I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
