Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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