I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I made him laugh his dick is mine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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