In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
