In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize