You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
