You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
