The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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