guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
