I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
