K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we made out on top of his cat.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
