Well douche your snatch and let's go!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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