If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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