He is an equal opportunity slut.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
