420 ftw
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
