Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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