Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
