I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
babies were throwing up all over the place
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize