And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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