Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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