a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
