FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize