then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
