I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
