I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
