I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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