I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
