My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
