I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize