how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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