Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
