remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
