All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize